From the East Wing with The Spike Rules, Gulf Cost Psychics, Al Gore And The Psychic Masseuse,Filing The Claims, Midsummer Day

Greetings to all, and welcome new friends to the East Wing.

The little boy cat, Spike, has grown to the point where I've had to develop rules of decorum to ensure he takes his rightful place in the Family of Howard. Like all kids, give ‘em an inch and they’ll take a mile. It was with that thought in mind when I created what we now call the “Spike Rules of The East Wing”.

1. You are not the leader of the animal kingdom in the East Wing.
2. Dog tails are not kitten toys.
3. Never antagonize a dog weighting 40 lbs when you weigh 1 lb.
4. Being unable to type, you have no need to walk across the computer keyboard, ever.
5. Being unable to read music, you have no business walking across the piano keys, ever.
6. Movement on a computer screen does not call for paw striking.
7. Whining will get you no where in life.
8. Drinking half & half for breakfast is not a constitutional right.
9. Everything that is not attached does not have to be slapped around.
10. Older dogs don't always want to play with you.
11. Just because you can pick it up with your mouth doesn’t mean you have to carry it away.
12. Dining room tables are for the exclusive use by people.
13. Dogs do not like it when cats walk in their food.
14. There is never a need to stick paws under the bathroom door.
15. Dogs never want to share plate licking with cats.
16. Litter boxes are for activities other than throwing kitty litter out on the basement floor.
17. Curtains are not climbing poles for kittens.
18. House plants are not toys to play with.
19. Sophia is not an illegal alien who needs to be deported.
20. Feet never present any threat of bodily harm and should never be attacked suddenly under a table.
21. Never pull at shoe strings. Their purpose is not a challenge to be untied by cats.
22. Walking is an accepted mode of transportation inside the house.
23. Bigger cats can and will control your life, and will do so until such time you are bigger than them.
24. Never climb bare human legs.
25. Cats do not have servants.
26. There is no such thing as kitten immunity.
27. The small watering bowl is for you, the large watering bowl is for the 2girldogs, not vice versa.
28. Never lick a person’s nose while they sleep.
29. The 2girldogs are not ganging up on you.
30. Unlike ancient Egypt, cats are not considered Gods in the East Wing.

It’s hoped with these simple set of rules, Spike will adapt to family life here in the East Wing and become a productive member of the family. It may take a while, ‘cause Spike’s kinda set in his ways. Once the rules have been finalized, I expect the 2girldogs to let me know of any infractions. The Pup Baby can hardly wait for Spike to mess up, just so he’ll get in trouble. I don’t think the Pup Baby will have to wait too long.

Since Spike’s such a little guy I decided to get him kitten food rather than have him eat the adult cat food like Sophia. Well low and behold, everybody wants to eat Spike’s food, the 2girdogs and Sophia all want to eat the kitten food. The way the 2girldogs and Sophia carried on ‘bout the kitten food, I almost tasted it myself but didn’t, it smelled like all other cat food to me. So I’m glad I didn’t taste.

Had some time a few days ago setting in a lobby waiting my turn and happened to pick up a copy of The Old Farmers Almanac. Did ya ever see any of the Classified Adds in those type books? Just read these examples:
MONICA, GOD-GIFTED PSYCHIC Reunites lovers permanently. Guaranteed! Helps business, marriage, and health. Removes negative energy. Restores peace of mind, happiness. Don’t wait! Call now! Free question! 800-253-0588

MRS. HOPE can help relieve all of life’s problems! Remove evil and bad luck, restores health, reunites lost love. Helps to foresee the future, remove darkness, and put you on the path to success and happiness! 50 years of good results. 706-548-8598

DAMIEN, GOD'S MESSENGER Solves all problems. Reunites lovers, removes curses. Stops cheating, breakups, divorce, jealousy. If you are working with a psychic and unhappy with results. call me. I succeed and get results where others fail. 877-371-9620

MRS. RUTH, Southern-born spiritualist. Removes evil, bad luck. Helps all problems. Free sample reading. 3938 Hwy. 431 South, Eufaula AL 36027. 334-616-6363.

I plucked these 4 little jewels at random from hundreds listed, page after page, in the book. The more I read these things the more I realized that right here before my are eyes are the keys to resolve all the world issues we face today.

Take MONICA, GOD-GIFTED PSYCHIC, now she is the one person alive who can handle the problems facing Al Gore. People thought he had problems when his global warming thing turned out to be a bunch of lies and crap made up to paint doom and gloom for big bucks. Now this wife dumps him, well MONICA, GOD-GIFTED PSYCHIC to the rescue. Her specialty, saving marriages, guaranteed, and Al Gore’s good as new. But with the latest word ‘bout Al Gore, it seems he’s more interested in other things than marriage saving by a psychic. Now what this “Sex Poodle” needs is a psychic who’s also a masseuse and he’d have the best of both worlds. Talk ‘bout having your cake and eating it too. I don’t know ‘bout you, but to me Al Gore never looked much like a Sex Poodle. To me he just kinda looked like a big slug.

But the one that really stuck out from the rest, and I can’t for the life of me see how the Obama People missed this one, Mrs. Ruth the Southern-born spiritualist, living right there in Alabama. Mrs. Ruth helps all problems, you’d think they’d get her to fix the oil leak. Had Mrs. Ruth been on this case from the onset the oil leak would not have even made national news on day one. There wouldn’t have been a day two, and we’d all be better off. Just another example of how they missed the boat on this thing.

The first year the Internal Revenue Service Code allowed credit for first time home buyers, some 25% of those claims turned out to be fraudulent. They didn’t buy a house, just wanted the money. I expect that the amount of fraudulent claims on this BP 20 billion $ fund is going to exceed anything ever experienced in our society. I understand there has already been more claims filed from Mississippi than the total number of people living in the state.

It would not surprise me if ½ of the people living south of the Canadian Border and east of the Rocky Mountains file claims for damage. We’re sure it’s gona impact the East Wing, but still trying to figure out how much. The 2girldogs are working out the details of our claim. Since it’s President Obama’s BP Billions we figured that with the 2girldogs being good democrats and all, we’d be more apt to get more from the pie than if Sophia done the paperwork. After all when ya look at the facts of this President, it Chicago Style handouts. In Chicago it’s always based on who you know, not what ya need.

And what ‘bout that Congressman from Texas apologizing to BP for those other stupid congressmen asking such questions. It’s no wonder that we the people are so fed up with the crap in Washington that both parties are running scared toward November mid term elections, and running scared they should be, a pox on both their houses. It would not surprise me to see the largest political shift in the history of the country come November.

I ran across some interesting facts ‘bout the oil spill, and the President’s efforts to shut down all drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. Of course oil gushing from the sea floor is a massive problem to deal with, but a worse oil spill from a blown out well in deep water happen several years off the cost of Mexico, and that one didn’t even make our news sources. We didn’t give a damn, ‘cause the oil didn’t come to Alabama.

To put things into some perspective, the Mississippi River dumps more water into the Gulf of Mexico in 38 seconds than the total volume of oil spilled so far. In one day the Mississippi River will dump more pollutants into the Gulf of Mexico than the oil spill so far.

Our Federal Government has received offers of assistance from some 13 countries who have dealt successfully with deep water oil spills. Not one offer, not one, has been accepted. Many other nations have dealt with oil spills and have been successful in cleaning it up, and yet this President refuses to allow any other country’s ships into the Gulf of Mexico to help clean up the mess. There are over 1000 oil skimming ships world wide, there are 22 in the Gulf of Mexico. It just don’t make sense to me why they aren’t all on the job over the oil spill. Dragging feet on this one may turn out to be the biggest political blunder in the history of earth.

A presidential commission has been established to determine the cause of this disaster and make recommendations for the future. Not a single person on the commission has any experience or working knowledge of the oil industry. Only one person has any type of scientific background, and it’s in a totally unrelated field.

Most of the commission members have stated public positions in opposition to the use of fossil fuel such as oil or coal. It appears the selection of commission membership is designed to control outcome of the commission report, not fix the problem. Still smells like the “Chicago way of doing business”.

Much has been said ‘bout the President’s unilateral decision to halt drilling in the Gulf for six months. There are 33 such drilling rigs out there, off shore, under the control of federal law. Did ya know there’s over 3,600 other oil and gas platforms out in the Gulf that aren’t under the control of our federal laws.

Now if I were gona bet, I’d bet that if the President should ask those folks to shut down the platforms, out there in the Gulf of Mexico, well, they may have recommendations of their own for the President. I don’t think many of those other 3,567 or so oil platforms are interested in the President’s political agenda, and if not, sure would be hard to get ‘em to stop doing their thing just “cause he asked ‘em to. ‘Bout as much chance to get that accomplished as getting Sophia to be the President’s Campaign Manager next time around. The cat read that one from the back of my chair, and fell off backwards to the floor.

Speaking of Sophia, she’s spending her days outside acting like hunter cats of old. Every morning if it’s not raining she goes out with Pup Baby at ‘bout 5:00AM or so. The difference is Pup Baby comes back inside in ‘bout 10 minutes, not Sophia, she stays out most all day. By the time I get home she’s ready to come back inside. And she always has stories to tell. The things that cat says , I don’t know whether to believe her or not. But I sure like the way that cat smiles when she tells stories.

Did ya ever hear ‘bout Midsummer Day? The name is kinda misleading ‘cause it occurs on June 24th, not in the middle of summer. It’s what we think of as halfway between the planting and harvesting of crops. Simply put, it’s the middle of the growing season. Midsummer Day is also the feast day of St. John The Baptist.

In pagan times they had wild parties, bonfires, fire walking and carnivals for Midsummer Eve. For sure was a night of magic and soothsaying. It was Washington Irving who said, “this is a time when it is well known all kinds of ghosts, goblins, and fairies become visible and walk abroad." Midsummer Eve.

After Midsummer Day, the days shorten. A Lithuanian old wives tale is the dew on Midsummer Day will make young girls beautiful and old people look younger. It was also thought that walking barefoot in the dew would keep one's skin from getting chapped. It was customary to honor all men named John on this day by fixing wreaths of oak leaves around their doors. This is usually done in secret, and John must guess who did it or catch the person in the act, in which case he must give the person a treat. Kinda sounds like Halloween in the summer time. That’d be kinda cool, probably more fun to go trick or treat in the summer time.

Thank you so much for your East Wing visit this first Sunday of Summer. As always we have enjoyed your company so much and look forward to seeing you again from the keyboard to the screen.

Stay safe in Afghanistan

From the East Wing with The Spike Rules, Gulf Cost Psychics, Al Gore And The Psychic Masseuse,Filing The Claims, Midsummer Day.

I wish you well.
BobbyRay