From the East Wing, With a Pizza Party, The Preacher & The Record Club, Robobees & Wal-Mart, McHale's Navy, Sophia's Email

Greetings to all, and welcome new friends to the East Wing.

For those of you who might remember my encounter with the Hornet Nation last summer, you’ll be glad to know the final outcome of that battle has taken place. The good guys won!

It was truly interesting to watch the demise of that Hornet Nest last fall and winter. After the weather got so cold it drove the hornets underground, the wind, rain, freezing & thawing, along with the snow started to take its toll on the Hornet Nest. I could see changes in its appearance day by day. It started to die.

But what really got the job done, was in late January a rather large black bird started to peck on the nest. Don’t know it that bird ate the nest or just enjoyed destroying a Hornet Nest, either way, within a few days after the black bird started pecking on the nest it was gone. I think the bird did eat at least part of the nest. The good guys won the war. May not have won all the battles, but won the war.

Had a really neat Pizza Party last Wednesday evening, me and a bunch of friends of mine. Just sat around the round table at Grand Central Station and enjoyed each other’s company. Told Stories. Nothing quite as nice as the company of good friends. It turns out that the important things in my life are not things at all , but people, people who are friends of mine.

Does anybody remember the Columbia House Record Club? Looking through some old, old papers I ran across one of the advertisements for Columbia House Record Club. Buy 5 records of your choice for One Penny! Such a deal. Cancel at any time! Send no money Now! If You want the current selection, you do nothing! We Ship direct to you! Return in 30 days no questions asked!

Well, I bought damn near every one that came in our mail box for a penny. When Rock & Roll was young, Carl Perkins, Buddy Holly, Fats Domino, Deion and the Belmonts, Fabian, Elvis, I bought ‘em all for one penny. And then the monthly selections came, I didn’t want ‘em but they just kept on coming and the bills started coming too. $24.95 for every one past that 5 for a penny deal. I got the mail every day from the mail box as I got off the School Bus, and all the Columbia House Record Club stuff had my name on it, so I just put ‘em in a box under my bed, and didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t want ‘em, but didn’t know how to stop the music or the bills.

I called them Columbia House Record Club People up on the phone said “this is Mr. BobbyRay Howard from Toto Indiana and I don’t want any more of your records”. They said “Shut up kid and pay that bill or else you’ll go to jail for fraud” They hung up on me, me, me, Mr. BobbyRay Howard from Toto Indiana. Talk ‘bout being scared, well I was one little scared hillbilly boy for sure. I didn’t even know what fraud was, and now I was going to have to go to jail for it. It didn’t seem right, it just didn’t seem right.

I decided to tell my dad, ‘cause anything that didn’t seem right, I always told my dad, ‘cause he was a preacher, and he knew ‘bout right and wrong and stuff like that, ‘cause that was part of his job being a preacher.

Got the box from under the bed and took it my dad. He laughed when I told him ‘bout all the Columbia House Records I had gotten in the mail. He really laughed when I told him ‘bout me calling ‘em up and telling ‘em I’m Mr. BobbyRay Howard from Toto Indiana and stop sending me bills and music. He didn’t laugh when I told him ‘bout them telling me I’d have to go to jail for fraud if I didn’t pay ‘em.

Right then and there my dad got on the phone and talked to that Columbia House Record Company. He told them I was 11 years old and didn’t have his permission or anybody else’s permission to order anything from their company, If they ever sent another thing to his mail box they’d be sorry. That was the first day the music died. Being a preacher is kinda neat, knowing right from wrong, and all.

Don’t know if that company’s still in business or not, but one thing I do know is they never send any more stuff, music or bills, to my dad’s mail box at Toto. Guess the wrong Mr. Howard called ‘em the first time.

Did ya see the meteors early Thursday Morning, I’m talking real early Thursday Morning, like 2:00 AM. I didn’t plan on it, but woke up and decided to go out and look and see the light show. It was worth the effort. Maybe 25 – 30 per hour, based on my watch time. At that rate ya don’t get boarded, standing out in the dark, in the cold wondering what the &*&^%$ you’re doing out in the dark wondering ‘bout stuff anyway. It was fun. Watching meteor showers are more fun with someone. That night it was just me and Pup Baby James, but the Pup Baby is good company any time, even watching meteors. I’m not sure the Pup Baby saw as many as I did, I don’t think she looked up as much as I did.

It’s amazing to think that a chunk of stuff the size of a tennis ball would make a streak across the sky maybe a thousand miles long. There’s a lot of things in this world we don’t fully understand. That chunk of stuff the size of that tennis ball is just but one.

“Chunk” is just such a neat word. Stop and think ‘bout it. Chunk paints a different picture for everybody. Lump, hunk, mass, large piece, portion, are all synonyms for chunk. But nothing says chunk like chunk. I don’t know if ya can still buy a “Chunk of Chocolate” or not, used to could.

Robobees, yes, robobees are being developed as a possible replacement for the devastating loss of honey bees worldwide. “While a vast amount of research is being poured into finding the cause for the bee die off, a like amount of effort is being put into developing another way to pollinate those things in nature that rely on the little fellers. Much of the things we eat depend on the honeybees. Most of the things ya grow in your gardens, on your trees, in your fields, I’m telling ya, those little honeybees are important people.

Now we may well be able to create little flying robobees and pollinate the plants, but I bet those robobees are not gona make honey, ‘cause that’s just wrong, having robobees making honey. Bet it would taste like it came from a can. I don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m not gona eat any robohoney.

One thing ya gotta keep in mind, If ya see that robohoney at Wal-Mart, bet your bottom dollar it came from China. And we all know how those Chinese people made baby formula for their own babies, so just imagine how they’d do on making robohoney for Wal-Mart. Stay away from the Wal-Mart Robohoney, especially if it’s in a can, ‘cause ya just can’t see what’s inside. Course ya can’t see what’s inside Mayonnaise either, but I don’t think Mayonnaise comes from China, I think Mayonnaise comes from Alabama.

Ever hear ‘bout a frog that changes color? No, not at Southfork, in the heart of Borneo. Knowing full well that Borneo is not a lead story on the evening news too often, it does hold many of the worlds mysteries.

Stick insects and slugs are just an example of some such mysteries in downtown Borneo. There have been 123 new species of plants, animals and insects discovered on the Island of Borneo in just the last three years. Now the WWF, no, not the wrestling people, the World Wildlife Fund, the real WWF, published such a list last week to mark Earth Day.

Seems like McHale’s Navy was there during the war. If not Borneo, I’m sure they were close by. I loved McHale’s Navy. I was a big Tim Conway fan. Funny man, Tim Conway, when teamed with Carol Barnett, it didn’t get more funny than that. Not one dirty word did Tim Conway ever speak on TV, nor Did Carol Barnett. That speaks volumes for true talent. Maybe there’s no longer enough to go around.

Rainy Springtime Sunday Morning in the East Wing. So much so the 2girldogs didn’t even go outside, Pup Baby just stuck her nose outside and went back and laid down on her couch. Now the Gray Lady James was even smarter, she didn’t even get off her couch, just wagged her tail, smiled and went back to sleep. AT 5:30 on a Sunday morning when it’s raining, maybe that is the best idea, wag your tail, smile, and go back to sleep. I did.

Last week Sophia The Republican Cat shared an interesting email with me. Ya gotta keep in mind that Sophia is so far right in her political views that she won’t even walk on my left side, but any way, she shared a very thought provoking email. The part she let me read was as follows:

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, why
do we have deficits? Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, Why do we have inflation and high taxes?

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates
to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you and me that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party. What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall...

No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits... The President can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it…

Now with much of Sophia’s ranting and ravings I just blow it off as so much smoke. However, if ya read what she shared, there’s not a single word which ya can challenge. Now I may or may not agree with Sophia’s politics, but I’ll give her credit, when she lays it out for the world to see, she’s done her homework. Facts are facts, and when ya can’t dispute the facts, attack the messenger, or if you’re the President, blame George Bush.

Much of what comes in Sophia’s email is composed on the back side of the Moon if ya ask me. I think it has all kinds built in secret codes, that only she can decipher. I suspect such simply because I know for a fact, Sophia has an original Ovaltine Secret Decoder Ring in the Cat House and she spends a lot of time with that ring on her right paw when she’s in the Cat House. And when the Ovaltine Secret Decoder Ring is not on Sophia’s right paw, it’s safely displayed right next to the autographed photo of Herbert Hoover. (Damn Republican Cat)

By the last Sunday of every April, the shades of nighttime draw slowly from the East. Even on days like today, with these low floating dark clouds that ya could just reach up and squeeze the water out, the nighttime comes slow. Unlike the last Sunday of every December, when ya blink and go from light to darkness, in an instance, or so it seems.

As my beautiful Maple Tree just outside the East Wing Window to the south fades into the darkness, while the 2girldogs are in their usual spots on the couches and Sophia is perched on the back of my chair, watching every key stroke, nighttime comes on little cat feet, in silence.

Thank you so much for sharing your time with us this evening in the East Wing. We always look forward to you company. Your presence in the East Wing adds to the warmth of the family.

Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan

From the East Wing, With A Pizza Party, A Preacher & The Record Club, Robobees & Wal-Mart, McHale’s Navy, Sophia’s Email.

I wish you well,
BobbyRay