From the East Wing in the Tropics, Capricorn & Cancer, Twelve Different Days of Christmas, The Fat Czar

Greeting and welcome to my new friends in the East Wing.

As the days continue to grow shorter, and the official start of winter is rapidly approaching, I’m looking forward to that precise moment of the 2009 Winter Solstice. It’s tomorrow, Monday the 21st at 11:47 PM CST.

Ya’d think something as important as the official start of winter would have a special allotted amount of time so everybody could get into the festivities, but nooooo! A slice of time, only a slice of time so thin ya can’t even see it. So thin, by the time it takes to say winter, it’s occurred and spring, summer and fall are all forever frozen into the back roads of the memories of 2009. An interesting note on winter is that it’s the only season stretching across into a new year. Winter can correctly be referred to as the winter of 2008-2009 or this upcoming winter of 2009 – 2010.

The real noticeable thing ‘bout winter starting up is what happens with the sun’s path across the sky. The winter solstice occurs either December 21 or 22, when the sun shines directly over the tropic of Capricorn. The summer solstice occurs either June 20 or 21, when the sun shines directly over the tropic of Cancer. In the Southern Hemisphere, the winter and summer solstices are reversed, so the folks in South America are getting ready to start summer as we get ready to start winter. The reason it’s not the very same day each year like Christmas is the 25th of December, or your birthday being the same every year, has to do with the earth’s rotation round the sun and that trip not being exact 365 days each and every time. So very once in a while we have to use a makeup day. That Feb. 29th thing is a makeup day.

There are three imaginary lines running across the surface of the earth. The equator, the Tropic of Cancer, and the Tropic of Capricorn. While the equator is the longest line of latitude on the earth (the line where the earth is widest in an east-west direction), the tropics are based on the sun's position in relation to the earth at two points of the year.

The equator is located at zero degrees latitude. The equator runs through Indonesia, Ecuador, northern Brazil, the Congo, and Kenya, among other places. Another way to remember the equator is, that if the earth had a belly button, the equator would be right ‘round there. It’s just a 100 miles or so shy of 25,000 miles all the way around the earth. Now that’s a long way, I could go from the East Wing to Chicago and back over 100 times and still not get that many miles. I don’t know ‘bout you, but I’ve been to Chicago one too many times already and I’m not going another hundred times, that’s for sure.

On the equator, the sun is directly overhead at noon on the two equinoxes, in March and September. The equator divides the earth into the Northern and Southern Hemispheres.

The Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn each lie at 23.5 degrees latitude. The Tropic of Cancer is located at 23.5° North of the equator and runs through Mexico, the Bahamas, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, India, and southern China. The Tropic of Capricorn lies at 23.5° South of the equator and runs through Australia, Chile, southern Brazil.

The tropics are the two lines where the sun is directly overhead at noon on the two solstices. In June and December. The sun is directly overhead at noon on the Tropic of Cancer on June 21 (the beginning of summer in the Northern Hemisphere and the beginning of winter in the Southern Hemisphere) and the sun is directly overhead at noon on the Tropic of Capricorn on December 21 (the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and the beginning of summer in the Southern Hemisphere).

The area bounded by the Tropic of Cancer on the north and Tropic of Capricorn on the south is known as the "tropics." This area does not experience seasons because the sun is always high in the sky. Only higher latitudes, north of the Tropic of Cancer and south of the Tropic of Capricorn, experience seasonal changes in the weather. Such a pity, but ya can never make snow angels in the tropics. Maybe they do ‘em in sand. Bet they don’t even know ‘bout snow angels. Maybe they don’t even know ‘bout snow.

Now after all that whooptee do explanation ‘bout the Tropics, Capricorn and Cancer, it’s not like these lines I’ve described are laid out with a chalk line or painted by one of those line striping trucks spraying that yellow paint down the middle of the road. Did ye ever see one of those idiots who just had to pass that paint truck before the yellow paint dries, and sure enough they mess up the paint, ‘n get it all over the road. I hate when that happens.

These are invisible lines, ya can’t see ‘em, ya either measure with instruments designed to do just such calculations using stars and stuff, or close your eyes and act like ya see ‘em. But all ya really need to know is when the sun gets as far north as it’s gona go, that’s Tropic of Cancer, when the sun gets as far south as it’s gona go, that’s Tropic of Capricorn, and the equator is the line in the middle. Like if the earth had a belly button the equator would run right ‘round there. All that other stuff, well I threw it in there just in case ya thought I’d spent all my time studying foreign languages, and learning to cuss in cat.

With what’s said about the latitude lines and how it’s used to reference the movement of the sun across the sky to identify the change of seasons, it just seems right to say a little something ‘bout longitude. I’m sure someone’s gona say “oh well, here he goes again off on some more crap that don’t makes sense. But I’m telling ya, the longitude lines are like the latitude lines, ‘cept they go east – west rather than north – south. There’s a spot on the world that all time is measured from, it’s on one of those longitude lines. Now that line is real important too, but we’ll save that story for another day.

An easy way to understand latitude and longitude is it’s kinda like the 911 address systems. All such systems have division lines, both north-south and east-west. Once ya learn the division lines, the rest just kinda fills in by its self.

All those little GPS screens ya got plugged in and setting on your dash, looking just sooo cool, well without latitude and longitude as universal units of measuring distance on the Earth, that little toy on the dash would not be there and ya’d still be lost.

Bet the little brown eyed friend of mine, that hummingbird from summer past, she has built in GPS and went to South America for their summertime. Either way, come spring time in the valley, she’ll be back to the East Wing. ‘Cause once in the East Wing, forever destined to return, so she’ll be back, when it’s spring time in the valley. I’m sure if her GPS got her down there, it’ll bring her back. I’m already looking forward to seeing her.

Did ya ever wonder how leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have anything to do with Christmas?

Well there was about a 300 year period that Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. It had to do with the English King getting mad at the Pope. Now when you’re the king ya can do mean things to people and get away with it. Somebody during that time wrote a carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.



-The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ.
-Two turtle doves are the Old and New Testaments.
-Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love.
-The four calling birds are the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
-The five golden rings represent the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
-The six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation.
-Seven swans a-swimming represents the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
-The eight maids a-milking are the eight beatitudes.
-Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten lords a-leaping are the ten commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stand for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there’s your history lesson for today. This little goodie was shared with me and I found it both interesting and enlightening, and now you too know how that strange little song became a Christmas Carol.

We don’t sing that carol at SS Cyril & Methodius Catholic Church in North Judson, but I think we’re more Bohemian than English. I think there’re some Pollock’s in there too. Plus the hillbillies, Wow ! A universal church right here in town, who’d thought it, and a Catholic Church at that. Oh, that’s right “Catholic” means universal church, now I get it, that’s the way it was meant to be all the time.

Before we talk again Christmas will have come and gone for this year 2009, and I’ll be on my way to Hilton Head Island SC. The day after Christmas, my son John, his wife, Jamie, the 1wife and I are off for a week or so into warmer surroundings. We will walk beside the ocean, pull off our shoes and step into the water, even if it’s cold, we still will, ‘cause when you’re hillbilly and walk beside the ocean, that’s just what ya do. We went to Hilton Head last year, and been looking forward to going back for a year, come next Saturday, we’re on our way. I’m looking forward to hugging my sisters, spending time with my family, leaving footprints in the sand.

Think I’ll take my laptop and write along the way, so ya may hear from me come next Sunday somewhere between here and there sounding like a travel brochure. One of the fun things ‘bout traveling any distance is stopping at the Cracker Barrels. Love those places. Same food every time, no surprises there, ya always know what it gona taste like. I’m not big on eating stuff I don’t know on a first name basis.

One thing ‘bout us hillbillies, we tend to be meat and potatoes eaters. But I do draw the line on some things, examples being, I don’t eat anything that swims, filters, pumps, thinks, or reproduces. I’m a carnivore and damn proud of it, but some things are just not right for me to eat. Now I’m not speaking for all hillbillies, but for me, I just never added those things to the list of what for supper. It won’t surprise me at all if this week I get a dozen receipts for my banned menu items.

Talk ‘bout meat eating reminded me of an article I read recently which identified the latest research on weight gain and the consumption of fat in the diet. Folks that love fat, gona love this. Eating fat has no real impact on the amount of weight gain over a period of time. So all ya fat lovers who visit the East Wing, “getter dun” So fat not bad, not good, but not bad. This sounds like something the Federal Government needs to get involved in. I can just see it now, the President appoints a Fat Czar. Which we probably need with those fat cats in Washington and all.

Stay safe in Baghdad and Afghanistan.

From the East Wing, In the Tropics, Capricorn and Cancer, Twelve Different Days of Christmas, The Fat Czar
I wish you well.
BobbyRay