From the East Wing, Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, The 2 cat Christmas Tree, and The Flu Bug

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the East Wing.

My friend in Mississippi who bragged a few days about getting snow this year before I did, is now bragging that he doesn’t have temperatures in the teens and wind chills below zero. That guy’s gona make me mad one of these days, but ya gotta watch out what ya say ‘bout those folks in Mississippi ‘cause they’re all pretty much related. Say a bad word ‘bout one and make ¾ of the whole state mad at ya. Kinda clannish down there. Tight gene pool in Mississippi. Maybe too much cotton, OxyContin, that is.

The white Angel continues to sit either in my lap on in front of the monitor at all times when I occupy the East Wing. It seems any other location and she’s exposed to sudden and unprovoked attack from Sophia. Sophia just can’t get over the idea that the Angel has gone to the “dark side” as she puts it.

Sophia is spending much of her time working on her Red Cat Republican Email Listing. Says she’ll have more emails in her list than those who read my ramblings from the East Wing. Told her I didn’t know there were that many republicans left. Boy did that make her mad.

I can always tell when I’ve made Sophia mad. She hisses at the Pup Baby, slaps at the Angel, tries to bite my ankle and stomps out of the East Wing looking much like the back side of Richard Nixon. She always ends up at the same place, in the Cat House, where she sits in front of her autographed picture of Herbert Hoover and meditates. (damn republican cat)

Last week in the course of a conversation with a client he used a phrase I had heard before but for some reason it seemed to perk my curiosity this time, so I decided to see if I could track down its’ origin.

The phrase "between the devil and the deep blue sea" has been used at least 400 years by the men who sail the ships. The "devil" referred to one of two seams that ran the length of a ship's wooden deck. One was on the inside, closest to the ship's railing, and the other was on the outside, near the waterline of the ship's hull. Those seams, like the rest of the ship's planked deck and frame, had to be regularly caulked to prevent leaks. In high seas, this job could be deadly, with sailors in terrible danger of being washed overboard. Being "the devil to caulk," the seams therefore earned their nickname. The choice "between the devil and the deep blue sea" soon came to mean a selection between two really bad choices.

Knowing nothing about the sailing of boats, I should have asked my brother-in-law Ed, he knows all ‘bout sailing, even had a sailing boat, the kind that goes on the ocean, not the kind that goes on Bass Lake. The number of times I’ve been in a boat can be counted on one hand with fingers to spare. Don’t know how to swim, never lived near any water worth swimming in. The only time I ever spent any time in the water was with Lou when I would be at South Fork. We all played in the waters of South Fork. As a child, South Fork was the best of times.

A couple weeks ago we were talking ‘bout weather watching and forgot to tell ya about how ya can forecast the coming winter weather using a persimmon. Heard this one when I was just a kid, and for some reason it always stuck in my mind. I always wanted to try this one, never did.

All ya need do is cut open a persimmon seed and look at the shape of the kernel inside. If the kernel is spoon-shaped, lots of heavy, wet snow will fall. If it is fork-shaped, ya can expect powdery, light snow and a mild winter. If the kernel is knife-shaped, icy, cutting winds will occur for the next few months.

Now that little ditty is all well and good except one thing, when was the last time ya saw a persimmon? Yap, know what ya mean, me too. It’s been a while. I think there was a Persimmon Tree growing north of Toto when I was a kid, seems like it was owned by a friend of my dad, a man by the name of Green Scutchfield.

One time Green Scutchfield and my dad decided to grow tobacco, there just north of Toto. Now these were two mountain men from southeastern Kentucky who smoked cigarettes so it just seemed natural to grow tobacco. The thought never crossed their minds to see if it was legal to do so.

I don’t remember all the details but do remember hearing them talking ‘bout what a pity it was a man can’t grow his own tobacco without the government telling ‘um what to do. It sure would be interesting to get their prospective on the current state of this country and the socialistic direction the current administration has taken the nation. We the people voted for change. Our nation changed. Did we get what we voted for?

If my memory serves me right, persimmons are ‘bout the size of plums, if ya bite into it before it’s ripe, ya’ll know. The pucker factor is high with unripe persimmons. I know, I did. Ripe, they taste like chicken, no I’m joking, they taste somewhere between plums and dates. When they’re ripe they taste really good, before they’re ripe, they’ll pucker ya to death, almost.

Persimmons were called the “Fruit of the Gods” by the Greeks, but we all know ‘bout the Greeks and their Gods, like they had a God for damn near everything. Kinda reminds me of President Obama and his Czars. As I typed that line, Sophia, from the back of my chair, with her little calico paw patted my shoulder as if to say “good boy”. It doesn’t take a lot to get back into the good graces of a Republican Calico Cat. I love the way that cat smiles when she’s happy.

A few days ago a lady called my office and asked me how I kept my cats out of my Christmas Tree. Told her I don’t, I get the Christmas Tree they sell for people with cats. She’d never heard of that kind. I said “oh sure, I get that kind every year”. Told her I get the 2 cat kind, but they make ‘em all the way up to a 10 cat tree. Said she had 4 cats. She wanted to know where she could get one, I told her most any place that sells Christmas Trees have ‘em but they don’t advertise ‘em so ya gotta ask for it special, ‘cause they usually keep that kind in the back. Just tell ‘em ya want the 4 cat tree. She left the office excited over the prospect of a 4 cat Christmas Tree. Tis the Season.

From the way Sophia handled the Christmas Tree last year I wasn’t too far off. After removing all the ornaments she could reach from the floor, Sophia climbed the tree. Once she discovered the joy of Christmas Tree climbing, it became a daily obsession, each morning, noon and night, run up and down inside the Christmas Tree. We became used to it and hardly paid any attention to Sophia climbing the tree, that is until the Christmas Tree was found, one day after work, tipped over. Just came home one day and the tree was on its side with Sophia wondering ‘round in the branches. Sophia said she didn’t do nothing! It was Mustina! I could tell by looking at Mustina, she didn’t knock over anything, she’s a democrat bird dog, not a tree climbing calico republican cat.

I think this year I will get the 2 cat kind, I’m sure the Angel will have an interest in Christmas Tree climbing this year, it being her first Christmas and all. So I might as well be ready with the 2 cat kind. Maybe the Angel will find something in common with Sophia, politics didn’t work out for them.

It seem the Swine Flu, or the H1N1, or the regular flu or who know what, came to visit both me and the 1wife in the last 48 hours. Tough two days. We continue to be under the weather so to speak. I have spent most of my time in close proximity to the bathroom while Regina is more lucky in that regard and spends her time lying on the couch. When the 1wife’s lying on the couch in the daylight, I know she’s sick.

Mustina must somehow feel compelled to take care of me during this spell of illness, maybe as a payback for the times I’ve devoted the her in her times of need. This little dog has not left my side since Friday at 11:30 PM, when the first symptoms appeared. She’s never followed alongside me every step the way, as she has these last two days. A special friend of me, that Pup Baby James.

I just decided that me and the she must have the regular flu, ‘cause the government said we were too old to get the H1N1 flu, so no shot for you.

Even with a little flu to break up the routine, life is good in the East Wing, the Gray Lady is fast asleep on her couch, Sophia occupies her high spot in the room, that being the back of my chair, the white Angle is in my lap, and the Pup Baby is lying at my side, while the fire place keeps us warm this second Sunday of December.

Your company has been the highlight of my day, as always, thanks for coming by.

Stay safe in Baghdad and Afghanistan

From the East Wing, Between the devil and the deep blue sea, the 2 cat Christmas Tree, The Flu Bug.

I wish you well

BobbyRay