From the East Wing with The Cat Night of Summer and The Grindel

Greeting to all and welcome to the East Wing

Sophia The Republican Cat has outdone herself this time for sure. She asked me if I had ever heard of “The Cat Nights of Summer” when I said no, she asked if I had time for a story, I did, and so she started out.

“Once upon a time in a place far away, far, far away so far away you had to go somewhere else to even get ready to just start to go there.

Well this place had witches and goblins and some other really bad stuff like the original democrats, and they couldn’t read back then either. Now these witches all had magic tricks up their sleeves, but they didn’t have sleeves, but the magic stayed up there anyhow, and I don’t know how, and that’s why it’s magic.

One of the favorite things these witches liked to do when they weren’t out witching around on business was turning themselves into cats. Most everybody in the world would like to be a cat, but these ole girl witches figured out how to get er done, so they could go around being a cat. (Being one myself, I can say with a great deal of certainty it beats being a dog a whole lot, and even a lot more than that too, ‘cause being a dog is just plain dumb)

There was one witch, Mildred was her name, she was 319 years old and didn’t even have any gray hair, ‘cause witches don’t get gray hair as long as they keep stirring over those black cauldrons. I don’t know if it’s the stuff in the pot or the pot itself that causes witches not to get gray hair. It’s one of ‘em for sure, cause ya just never see a gray haired witch that is actively stirring a black cauldron. Maybe after they retire and don’t have to stir that big ole pot everyday they may get some gray hair, but I’ve never seen a retired witch so I don’t know. But I’ve seen some people with gray hair that I think looks like retired witches, so maybe that’s the way it works.

Now Mildred loved being a cat, she just loved being a cat so much that every chance she got, ZAP! She’s a cat once again. Well it turned out that if ya were a witch, and if ya turned yourself into a cat and then back into a witch, ya could do that as much as ya wanted except only one special night of the year.

That special time is the Midnight of the Full Moon of August. Most all of the witches are aware of the curse of the Midnight Full Moon of August that only is only for witches, girl witches, not boy witches. Now some people call em warlocks, but they’re really just boy witches. Ya know there are more girl witches than boy witches, don’t know why, maybe they ran out of black cauldrons or may they don’t pay ‘em very much, there are just more girl witches than boy witches.

Now this curse is a twofold deal, this Midnight Full Moon of August, not only does the monster from hell walk
In the full moon, other unthinkable things lay waiting unsuspecting girl witches who even dare to tempt fate on this horrid night of nights.

And as the midnight full moon of August brought no relief from the oppressive heat which had covered the countryside for weeks upon end, even the Warmaxx, those massive gray furry creatures who survive solely on the rotting carcasses of the dead, have tended to stay close to their haven this night. As rats the size of cats scoot along dead trees fallen across water patches of the swamp the first noticeable sound is all but the level of a whisper.

An unexpected dark cloud rolls across the face of the moon, as a wind, the first in days, leads the swamp grass into its spontaneous dance of the cosmos. The sound continues to build until such time all the creatures of the swamp stop dead in their tracks. Bats as large as plates fly to their highest place of asylum. Even the Female Warmaxx, with bits of putrefied flesh still clinging to her chin and maggots walking amongst her facial hairs, draws back into her lair ,turns away from the sound and trembles in terror at the contemplation of things to come. In fact all the night creatures , creatures beings so lecherous their purpose on this earth is know only to God, and Beelzebub, turn in haste to seek whatever level of safety that can be found, be it under ground, behind trees, in the trees, in the air, under water, just any thing to guard against the advancing doom.

With the tips of the tall swamp grass now close to touching the ground and the full moon completely gone behind black clouds a definite chill moves across the marshlands, ahead of a sound, that sound that is now even higher than the wind.

While the horrors of purgatory are being held at bay the night air continues to be ruptured by that catastrophic sound from deep within the marsh, a light starts to glow, dim at first, then ever brighter as the night creatures, even the most deadly, knowing the end is near, seem to collectively murmur quietly to their unspoken Gods, and to themselves, “THE GRENDL”.

For witches who can never get enough of being a cat this devil night of nights, this “Cats Night of Summer” presents special challenges to say the least. The first being stir clear of the Grindel, real clear of the Grindel, that creature even the devil won’t accept. Now when the devil don’t want ya, you’re bad,,, real bad. So ya gotta cut the ole Grindel a lota slack.

The second danger on this hell night for witches is the biggie, the big Grabouski, the only thing witches fear, not being in control. Now witches go to witch school for a hundred years just to learn the witch basics, then another hundred years just to learn the magic, then another hundred years just to learn how to use the magic and how to stir the black cauldron and what to put in the black cauldron, cause if ya put the wrong stuff in the big black pot and stir it wrong,,,, well there was some problems at Hershey PA some time back where the wrong stuff was mixed and the big ole black cauldron almost melted to China. Black cauldrons do that when they get too hot, melt to China. Did ya ever wonder if something made a hole all the way to China and ya looked down the hole and a Chinese guy is looking down the same hole, would he be looking up at you, or would you be looking up at him?

The witches who’ve mastered the turn to cat trick have the power to go and come as a cat as much as they want. On the Cat Night of Summer they must keep track of the times they have preformed their magic that day, for if they don’t and they are unlucky enough to be in transition from cat to witch as the clock strikes midnight and this is their 9th time today,,,,, well that poor ole girl is forever stuck as a cat. A Black Cat, forever a Black Cat.

That was just what happened to Mildred! Now even though Mildred was 316 years old, ya gotta keep she had been in witch training school for 300 years, so in the overall picture, Mildred was just a young whipper witch. So that’s where we get black cats. They are not born like other cats; they are witches who got stuck in time on a Cat Night of Summer.

Now some of these Black Cat Witches got mixed in with real cats and now ya see half witches, black and white, black and gray, black and brown, black and blue. But the real cream of the crop when it comes to the half witches, the true pride and joy of all good witches everywhere, are those Republican Calico Witches. Those pretty witch cats.”

In her usual manner, the cat smiled at me and gave me one of those “I guess I showed those dumb dogs” looks, curled up on my lap and promptly went to sleep. Cats do go to sleep fast, especially after a story like that. And I never knew she was a half witch, until today.

I’d never heard of the Cat Night of Summer, I did know about the Grindel, didn’t know the cat knew. The 2girldogs didn’t know either one. But Pup Baby wanted to know when was the Full Moon of August. She was glad when I told her it had passed for this year. The Pup Baby also wanted to know if there was a real Grindel. She’s not much of a watch dog. Now Pup Baby is half German Short Hair Pointer, and half good for noting but be your dog, dog and I love her much. Yet when it comes to quality in the dog house, the Gray Lady hold court. She truly is Cover Girl Quality, that Gray Lady James.

Such a special late August cool Sunday Summer day to remember. Just think the girl witches have until August 24th of next year to be as free as cats as much as the like while always remembering that on the Cat Night of Summer, the Grindel is always there in the darkness.

As usual, thank you so much for such pleasant company this evening. With the darkness engulfing the outside world, the hummingbird feeder is disappearing as the little brown eyed, the hummingbird, comes back for one more little snack before calling it a day. The night time has come to the East Wing.

Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan

From the East Wing with Sophia, The Cat Night of Summer, and The Grindel

I wish you well,
BobbyRay