From the East Wing When the Hornets Won the War

Greeting to all, and welcome to East Wing this last August Sunday of the Year.
Have ya ever heard about the Hornet Nation? This past week I introduced myself.
This Tuesday past, it seems that the tree limbs both to the east of the East Wing as well as to the south had grown this year to the point of blocking my preferred view from the East Wing Computer Table.
I proposed to the 1wife that I cut down both trees. She had a different point of view. Her point of view was not complex or difficult to understand, it was NO!
What ya gona do, the Paul Bunyan role playing was nipped in the bud, and I would have looked so good in those big red suspenders and the plaid lumberjack shirts. Not to even mention holding that big ax. Oh well, such a dream, maybe another tree, another day, another shirt.
We did reach an agreement that I could cut the branches but not the trees, and so I sat out on the lumberjack lite job of tree cutting, without the ax, without the big plaid lumberjack shirt. Just shorts, tee shirt and a saw I has stolen from the last time we went somewhere to cut a Christmas Tree.
I really didn’t steal the saw, they gave it to us and sent us out into the Christmas Tree Forest to hunt, armed only with a little saw. Not wanting to walk 5 miles (uphill both ways) to hunt a Christmas Tree I drove the van. My youngest son, John, is the decision maker of the family on Christmas Tree selections, so when John said that one, that one it was. We took turns pushing and pulling the saw and soon had the Christmas Tree dead on its side and strapped on top of the van.
Returning to the Christmas Tree Weigh In Station with our 10’ Trophy Frasier Fur Christmas Tree, well now with all the excitement of the kill, the field dressing, with all the posing for the pictures and hand shaking and high fiving going on and holding up the branches to fully make the most of the trophy size of the tree, we just plain forgot to take the little saw back to the person who gave it to us to start the Great Christmas Tree Hunt of 2008. I assure you that neither I nor my son, John, had any premeditated thoughts of pilfering the personal property of others, then or now.
The error of our ways was not exposed until we arrived home and discovered much to our chagrin, that lying underneath our much prized and oft photographed Trophy Christmas Tree was the very weapon of its own destruction, that dreaded one man saw, with those serrated edges that had doomed many a fine Christmas Tree, in their prime of life, to their final resting place. That Orange Glowing, Saw-Toothed, Christmas Tree Eating, Little Monster from Hell was right there with us and the thing 30 miles from home.
The 1wife wanted to take the saw back that day. I proposed we take it back next year, she agreed but called the place and told’em we had their saw and would bring it back next year if that was ok or else we would bring it back today if they needed it. It was ok. They told the1wife they lose between 200 to 300 saws per year and she was the first one to ever call and say she had their saw. For her phone call they told her to be sure and come back next year (2009) and pick out the tree of her choice, on the house! SWEET ! So I guess we didn’t really seal the saw, just borrowed it for a year. Come Christmas Tree Hunting Season again we will take the little monster back home.
Now I get the Christmas Tree Saw from its place of honor in the chamber of horrors I call my organized tools in the garage and proceed to trim the oak tree to the east of the East Wing, all is well. I move to the Maple Tree directly outside the South Windows of the East Wing and trim one large branch. I move to the south side of this tree to make the final cut of the day.
Now at this point in a “B” movie from the 1950’s ya would be hearing “DANGER MUSIC”. Ya know what I’m talking ‘bout, that kinda music they play just before something so really bad happens that’s so scary it damn near made ya jump right out of your seat at the show. Now that’s danger music.
I started sawing on the limb with my right hand, reached up with my left hand and pulled the limb toward the ground to make it easier to saw. In about 2 maybe 3 seconds at the most I received the single most stunning blow to the base of my skull I had ever received in my whole life. For a small fraction of a second I thought I had been shot. Then I realized there was a bee of some kind going into my left ear. I swatted at the creature as I ran, twice more I felt the pain. As I run away I again feel the pain, now I’m thinking killer bees. I’m on the north side of the East Wing, and as I slid open the glass door, one final blow from my attacker.
By the time I get inside I’m experiencing the most intense headache ever. I thought the damn thing had stung directly into my brain. I put ice on the stings to the back of my head, and hoped I wouldn’t die from killer bees. Looking at my arms and watching a small trickle of blood running down my left arm, I realized that I had unwillingly became blood brothers with the bees
Regina put Adolph Meat Tenderizer as a paste on the bee stings. Now don’t laugh on that one, there’s some logical science behind the use of meat tenderizer to treat bee stings. The enzymes in the meat tenderizer neutralize the protein in the venom. Once neutralized the venom does no more damage and the pain goes away.
Having lost one of my two hearing aids in my mad dash for life escape, I along with the 1wife decided to go look for it. Trying to retrace my path best I could I was in the position of cutting on the limb of the tree when she said “Oh my God let’s get out of here”. I looked and hanging almost to the ground from the limb I had been sawing on was the largest Hornets Nest I had ever seen in my life. We made a hasty retreat to the security of the East Wing.
Once inside the safe and sound East Wing I immediately started to develop the war plans. This place is not big enough for both of us and they started it. Because they started it I’m sure God is on my side.
It was somewhere during the calculation of the trajectory of the missile attack, which was just after I had re read the manual on the proper use and care of the flame thrower, that it dawned on me, they didn’t start it. I did. And with that thought I lost God from my side. Now everybody knows ya don’t go to war if ya can’t convince yourself that God is on your side. The war was lost before the battle started.
It was a sobering awareness that I had made an unprovoked attack on the Nation of Hornet. Without cause or justification I had every intent in destroying their world as they knew it. Such a shameful act could only be repelled by force, an overwhelming force, a force so intent on its mission that no power on earth could withstand its onslaught. The force was with the Hornets.
The brave patriots, those hornets willing to sacrifice their lives in defense of the homeland, in defense of the hive, will forever be remembered when Hornets gather in groups and tell stories that dwell forever on the back roads of the memories of the Hornet Nation. August 25,2009 will forever go down in the history of Hornet Nation as when Evil attacked and the Empire fought back.
Upon realizing how wrong I was for even developing the thought which eventually lead to my surprise attack on the Nation of Hornet, I have seen the light and now intend tol devote the rest of my days doing good and championing the cause of the likes of Al Gore and his quest to fight windmills. And act like he don’t feel bad ‘cause he lost being president. I still say we didn’t have any of that global warming crap till Al Gore started talking ‘bout it.
That little brown eyed friend of mine, the humming bird, lives within 8 feet of the Nation of Hornet, the get along. The 1Angel climbs the Maple Tree supporting the Nation of Hornet, they too get along fine, as do the 2girl dogs and Sophia the Republican Cat. It turns out they all knew about the Nation of Hornet, just didn’t think it important enough to tell me.
Sophia said she never thought I would be dumb enough to try to kill’em else she would have told me to stay away. Knowing the cat is half witch and just today finding out that one ingredient that goes into every Black Cauldron is half a hornet’s nest, I can’t help but wonder if that cat has something to do with those hornets being here. I’ve lived here for a long time and we never had hornets before, I can’t help but wonder.
She may know more about the Nation of Hornet and how they got here than she’s telling at this time. It seems maybe the witch part is starting to come out in her. She is already talking about Halloween and has asked if I have any extra brooms.
The Nation of Hornet has been busy with many goings and comings this day, They must have some kinda air traffic control system in place to prevent mid air collisions. But I’m not gona go look and see. I do know they have an extremely effective air defense system along with highly advanced radar. I bet I was a really big dot on their radar screen as they scrambled the fighters.
Such a beautiful cool final Sunday this August 2009, never to return again, and so special as it passes. The Pup Baby and 1Angel spent most the afternoon sleeping on Mustina’s Couch. The Gray Lady enjoyed the cool day by staying in the yard most all day. The humming bird, as usual, ate about 20 times per hour and still no weight gain. She sat a lot today on top of the shepherds hook, and twice came to the East Wing Window.
As this Sunday Evening melts into the darkness of the nighttime a final decision has been reached on dealing with the Nation of Hornet. If they leave me alone, I leave them alone. The only thing I do know for sure is I’ll not start it first again.
Thank you so much for you company in the East Wing this day. With the 1Angel sitting in Sophia’s spot on the back of my chair, peace has once again returned to the East Wing. Life is good here. It’s easy to be at peace when an Angel has your back.
Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan,
From the East Wing when the Hornets won the War
I wish you well,
BobbyRay