From the East Wing When the Hornets Won the War

Greeting to all, and welcome to East Wing this last August Sunday of the Year.
Have ya ever heard about the Hornet Nation? This past week I introduced myself.
This Tuesday past, it seems that the tree limbs both to the east of the East Wing as well as to the south had grown this year to the point of blocking my preferred view from the East Wing Computer Table.
I proposed to the 1wife that I cut down both trees. She had a different point of view. Her point of view was not complex or difficult to understand, it was NO!
What ya gona do, the Paul Bunyan role playing was nipped in the bud, and I would have looked so good in those big red suspenders and the plaid lumberjack shirts. Not to even mention holding that big ax. Oh well, such a dream, maybe another tree, another day, another shirt.
We did reach an agreement that I could cut the branches but not the trees, and so I sat out on the lumberjack lite job of tree cutting, without the ax, without the big plaid lumberjack shirt. Just shorts, tee shirt and a saw I has stolen from the last time we went somewhere to cut a Christmas Tree.
I really didn’t steal the saw, they gave it to us and sent us out into the Christmas Tree Forest to hunt, armed only with a little saw. Not wanting to walk 5 miles (uphill both ways) to hunt a Christmas Tree I drove the van. My youngest son, John, is the decision maker of the family on Christmas Tree selections, so when John said that one, that one it was. We took turns pushing and pulling the saw and soon had the Christmas Tree dead on its side and strapped on top of the van.
Returning to the Christmas Tree Weigh In Station with our 10’ Trophy Frasier Fur Christmas Tree, well now with all the excitement of the kill, the field dressing, with all the posing for the pictures and hand shaking and high fiving going on and holding up the branches to fully make the most of the trophy size of the tree, we just plain forgot to take the little saw back to the person who gave it to us to start the Great Christmas Tree Hunt of 2008. I assure you that neither I nor my son, John, had any premeditated thoughts of pilfering the personal property of others, then or now.
The error of our ways was not exposed until we arrived home and discovered much to our chagrin, that lying underneath our much prized and oft photographed Trophy Christmas Tree was the very weapon of its own destruction, that dreaded one man saw, with those serrated edges that had doomed many a fine Christmas Tree, in their prime of life, to their final resting place. That Orange Glowing, Saw-Toothed, Christmas Tree Eating, Little Monster from Hell was right there with us and the thing 30 miles from home.
The 1wife wanted to take the saw back that day. I proposed we take it back next year, she agreed but called the place and told’em we had their saw and would bring it back next year if that was ok or else we would bring it back today if they needed it. It was ok. They told the1wife they lose between 200 to 300 saws per year and she was the first one to ever call and say she had their saw. For her phone call they told her to be sure and come back next year (2009) and pick out the tree of her choice, on the house! SWEET ! So I guess we didn’t really seal the saw, just borrowed it for a year. Come Christmas Tree Hunting Season again we will take the little monster back home.
Now I get the Christmas Tree Saw from its place of honor in the chamber of horrors I call my organized tools in the garage and proceed to trim the oak tree to the east of the East Wing, all is well. I move to the Maple Tree directly outside the South Windows of the East Wing and trim one large branch. I move to the south side of this tree to make the final cut of the day.
Now at this point in a “B” movie from the 1950’s ya would be hearing “DANGER MUSIC”. Ya know what I’m talking ‘bout, that kinda music they play just before something so really bad happens that’s so scary it damn near made ya jump right out of your seat at the show. Now that’s danger music.
I started sawing on the limb with my right hand, reached up with my left hand and pulled the limb toward the ground to make it easier to saw. In about 2 maybe 3 seconds at the most I received the single most stunning blow to the base of my skull I had ever received in my whole life. For a small fraction of a second I thought I had been shot. Then I realized there was a bee of some kind going into my left ear. I swatted at the creature as I ran, twice more I felt the pain. As I run away I again feel the pain, now I’m thinking killer bees. I’m on the north side of the East Wing, and as I slid open the glass door, one final blow from my attacker.
By the time I get inside I’m experiencing the most intense headache ever. I thought the damn thing had stung directly into my brain. I put ice on the stings to the back of my head, and hoped I wouldn’t die from killer bees. Looking at my arms and watching a small trickle of blood running down my left arm, I realized that I had unwillingly became blood brothers with the bees
Regina put Adolph Meat Tenderizer as a paste on the bee stings. Now don’t laugh on that one, there’s some logical science behind the use of meat tenderizer to treat bee stings. The enzymes in the meat tenderizer neutralize the protein in the venom. Once neutralized the venom does no more damage and the pain goes away.
Having lost one of my two hearing aids in my mad dash for life escape, I along with the 1wife decided to go look for it. Trying to retrace my path best I could I was in the position of cutting on the limb of the tree when she said “Oh my God let’s get out of here”. I looked and hanging almost to the ground from the limb I had been sawing on was the largest Hornets Nest I had ever seen in my life. We made a hasty retreat to the security of the East Wing.
Once inside the safe and sound East Wing I immediately started to develop the war plans. This place is not big enough for both of us and they started it. Because they started it I’m sure God is on my side.
It was somewhere during the calculation of the trajectory of the missile attack, which was just after I had re read the manual on the proper use and care of the flame thrower, that it dawned on me, they didn’t start it. I did. And with that thought I lost God from my side. Now everybody knows ya don’t go to war if ya can’t convince yourself that God is on your side. The war was lost before the battle started.
It was a sobering awareness that I had made an unprovoked attack on the Nation of Hornet. Without cause or justification I had every intent in destroying their world as they knew it. Such a shameful act could only be repelled by force, an overwhelming force, a force so intent on its mission that no power on earth could withstand its onslaught. The force was with the Hornets.
The brave patriots, those hornets willing to sacrifice their lives in defense of the homeland, in defense of the hive, will forever be remembered when Hornets gather in groups and tell stories that dwell forever on the back roads of the memories of the Hornet Nation. August 25,2009 will forever go down in the history of Hornet Nation as when Evil attacked and the Empire fought back.
Upon realizing how wrong I was for even developing the thought which eventually lead to my surprise attack on the Nation of Hornet, I have seen the light and now intend tol devote the rest of my days doing good and championing the cause of the likes of Al Gore and his quest to fight windmills. And act like he don’t feel bad ‘cause he lost being president. I still say we didn’t have any of that global warming crap till Al Gore started talking ‘bout it.
That little brown eyed friend of mine, the humming bird, lives within 8 feet of the Nation of Hornet, the get along. The 1Angel climbs the Maple Tree supporting the Nation of Hornet, they too get along fine, as do the 2girl dogs and Sophia the Republican Cat. It turns out they all knew about the Nation of Hornet, just didn’t think it important enough to tell me.
Sophia said she never thought I would be dumb enough to try to kill’em else she would have told me to stay away. Knowing the cat is half witch and just today finding out that one ingredient that goes into every Black Cauldron is half a hornet’s nest, I can’t help but wonder if that cat has something to do with those hornets being here. I’ve lived here for a long time and we never had hornets before, I can’t help but wonder.
She may know more about the Nation of Hornet and how they got here than she’s telling at this time. It seems maybe the witch part is starting to come out in her. She is already talking about Halloween and has asked if I have any extra brooms.
The Nation of Hornet has been busy with many goings and comings this day, They must have some kinda air traffic control system in place to prevent mid air collisions. But I’m not gona go look and see. I do know they have an extremely effective air defense system along with highly advanced radar. I bet I was a really big dot on their radar screen as they scrambled the fighters.
Such a beautiful cool final Sunday this August 2009, never to return again, and so special as it passes. The Pup Baby and 1Angel spent most the afternoon sleeping on Mustina’s Couch. The Gray Lady enjoyed the cool day by staying in the yard most all day. The humming bird, as usual, ate about 20 times per hour and still no weight gain. She sat a lot today on top of the shepherds hook, and twice came to the East Wing Window.
As this Sunday Evening melts into the darkness of the nighttime a final decision has been reached on dealing with the Nation of Hornet. If they leave me alone, I leave them alone. The only thing I do know for sure is I’ll not start it first again.
Thank you so much for you company in the East Wing this day. With the 1Angel sitting in Sophia’s spot on the back of my chair, peace has once again returned to the East Wing. Life is good here. It’s easy to be at peace when an Angel has your back.
Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan,
From the East Wing when the Hornets won the War
I wish you well,
BobbyRay

From the East Wing with The Cat Night of Summer and The Grindel

Greeting to all and welcome to the East Wing

Sophia The Republican Cat has outdone herself this time for sure. She asked me if I had ever heard of “The Cat Nights of Summer” when I said no, she asked if I had time for a story, I did, and so she started out.

“Once upon a time in a place far away, far, far away so far away you had to go somewhere else to even get ready to just start to go there.

Well this place had witches and goblins and some other really bad stuff like the original democrats, and they couldn’t read back then either. Now these witches all had magic tricks up their sleeves, but they didn’t have sleeves, but the magic stayed up there anyhow, and I don’t know how, and that’s why it’s magic.

One of the favorite things these witches liked to do when they weren’t out witching around on business was turning themselves into cats. Most everybody in the world would like to be a cat, but these ole girl witches figured out how to get er done, so they could go around being a cat. (Being one myself, I can say with a great deal of certainty it beats being a dog a whole lot, and even a lot more than that too, ‘cause being a dog is just plain dumb)

There was one witch, Mildred was her name, she was 319 years old and didn’t even have any gray hair, ‘cause witches don’t get gray hair as long as they keep stirring over those black cauldrons. I don’t know if it’s the stuff in the pot or the pot itself that causes witches not to get gray hair. It’s one of ‘em for sure, cause ya just never see a gray haired witch that is actively stirring a black cauldron. Maybe after they retire and don’t have to stir that big ole pot everyday they may get some gray hair, but I’ve never seen a retired witch so I don’t know. But I’ve seen some people with gray hair that I think looks like retired witches, so maybe that’s the way it works.

Now Mildred loved being a cat, she just loved being a cat so much that every chance she got, ZAP! She’s a cat once again. Well it turned out that if ya were a witch, and if ya turned yourself into a cat and then back into a witch, ya could do that as much as ya wanted except only one special night of the year.

That special time is the Midnight of the Full Moon of August. Most all of the witches are aware of the curse of the Midnight Full Moon of August that only is only for witches, girl witches, not boy witches. Now some people call em warlocks, but they’re really just boy witches. Ya know there are more girl witches than boy witches, don’t know why, maybe they ran out of black cauldrons or may they don’t pay ‘em very much, there are just more girl witches than boy witches.

Now this curse is a twofold deal, this Midnight Full Moon of August, not only does the monster from hell walk
In the full moon, other unthinkable things lay waiting unsuspecting girl witches who even dare to tempt fate on this horrid night of nights.

And as the midnight full moon of August brought no relief from the oppressive heat which had covered the countryside for weeks upon end, even the Warmaxx, those massive gray furry creatures who survive solely on the rotting carcasses of the dead, have tended to stay close to their haven this night. As rats the size of cats scoot along dead trees fallen across water patches of the swamp the first noticeable sound is all but the level of a whisper.

An unexpected dark cloud rolls across the face of the moon, as a wind, the first in days, leads the swamp grass into its spontaneous dance of the cosmos. The sound continues to build until such time all the creatures of the swamp stop dead in their tracks. Bats as large as plates fly to their highest place of asylum. Even the Female Warmaxx, with bits of putrefied flesh still clinging to her chin and maggots walking amongst her facial hairs, draws back into her lair ,turns away from the sound and trembles in terror at the contemplation of things to come. In fact all the night creatures , creatures beings so lecherous their purpose on this earth is know only to God, and Beelzebub, turn in haste to seek whatever level of safety that can be found, be it under ground, behind trees, in the trees, in the air, under water, just any thing to guard against the advancing doom.

With the tips of the tall swamp grass now close to touching the ground and the full moon completely gone behind black clouds a definite chill moves across the marshlands, ahead of a sound, that sound that is now even higher than the wind.

While the horrors of purgatory are being held at bay the night air continues to be ruptured by that catastrophic sound from deep within the marsh, a light starts to glow, dim at first, then ever brighter as the night creatures, even the most deadly, knowing the end is near, seem to collectively murmur quietly to their unspoken Gods, and to themselves, “THE GRENDL”.

For witches who can never get enough of being a cat this devil night of nights, this “Cats Night of Summer” presents special challenges to say the least. The first being stir clear of the Grindel, real clear of the Grindel, that creature even the devil won’t accept. Now when the devil don’t want ya, you’re bad,,, real bad. So ya gotta cut the ole Grindel a lota slack.

The second danger on this hell night for witches is the biggie, the big Grabouski, the only thing witches fear, not being in control. Now witches go to witch school for a hundred years just to learn the witch basics, then another hundred years just to learn the magic, then another hundred years just to learn how to use the magic and how to stir the black cauldron and what to put in the black cauldron, cause if ya put the wrong stuff in the big black pot and stir it wrong,,,, well there was some problems at Hershey PA some time back where the wrong stuff was mixed and the big ole black cauldron almost melted to China. Black cauldrons do that when they get too hot, melt to China. Did ya ever wonder if something made a hole all the way to China and ya looked down the hole and a Chinese guy is looking down the same hole, would he be looking up at you, or would you be looking up at him?

The witches who’ve mastered the turn to cat trick have the power to go and come as a cat as much as they want. On the Cat Night of Summer they must keep track of the times they have preformed their magic that day, for if they don’t and they are unlucky enough to be in transition from cat to witch as the clock strikes midnight and this is their 9th time today,,,,, well that poor ole girl is forever stuck as a cat. A Black Cat, forever a Black Cat.

That was just what happened to Mildred! Now even though Mildred was 316 years old, ya gotta keep she had been in witch training school for 300 years, so in the overall picture, Mildred was just a young whipper witch. So that’s where we get black cats. They are not born like other cats; they are witches who got stuck in time on a Cat Night of Summer.

Now some of these Black Cat Witches got mixed in with real cats and now ya see half witches, black and white, black and gray, black and brown, black and blue. But the real cream of the crop when it comes to the half witches, the true pride and joy of all good witches everywhere, are those Republican Calico Witches. Those pretty witch cats.”

In her usual manner, the cat smiled at me and gave me one of those “I guess I showed those dumb dogs” looks, curled up on my lap and promptly went to sleep. Cats do go to sleep fast, especially after a story like that. And I never knew she was a half witch, until today.

I’d never heard of the Cat Night of Summer, I did know about the Grindel, didn’t know the cat knew. The 2girldogs didn’t know either one. But Pup Baby wanted to know when was the Full Moon of August. She was glad when I told her it had passed for this year. The Pup Baby also wanted to know if there was a real Grindel. She’s not much of a watch dog. Now Pup Baby is half German Short Hair Pointer, and half good for noting but be your dog, dog and I love her much. Yet when it comes to quality in the dog house, the Gray Lady hold court. She truly is Cover Girl Quality, that Gray Lady James.

Such a special late August cool Sunday Summer day to remember. Just think the girl witches have until August 24th of next year to be as free as cats as much as the like while always remembering that on the Cat Night of Summer, the Grindel is always there in the darkness.

As usual, thank you so much for such pleasant company this evening. With the darkness engulfing the outside world, the hummingbird feeder is disappearing as the little brown eyed, the hummingbird, comes back for one more little snack before calling it a day. The night time has come to the East Wing.

Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan

From the East Wing with Sophia, The Cat Night of Summer, and The Grindel

I wish you well,
BobbyRay

From the East Wing with meteors,monsters, NRA and Email

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the East Wing.

Been doing some serious stargazing lately. Seeing some really neat stuff with my big boy toy, that telescope. I keeping telling myself the real good time to stargaze is the middle of winter, not middle of summer, but it’s more fun when ya don’t have to worry ‘bout your cold fingers or teeth chattering or nose too cold and runny as ya try to focus. Come winter, I’ll still bundle up and stargaze, freeze my nose and fingers and remember the summertime. I saw the rings of Saturn disappear a few days ago, they didn’t really, it was just the angle from my prospective of Saturn at that time.

Were ya looking forward to the Perseid Meteor Showers on the 11th and 12th (Tuesday and Wednesday) of last week? I was. I have watched that magic light show for a long time. It comes every year at the same time ( Aug 11 & 12) It seems the earth passes thru a comets tail or something like that. Actually it’s the residue from the comet Swift-Tuttle that makes the Perseid Meteor Showers each year. As this comet orbits the sun it leaves a little bit of “star stuff” in its path, each orbit changes just a little, so over the course of many years, (millions) the residue left is what our earth goes thru about the same time every year. It’s kinda like when ya drive down a dry dirt road in the summertime. If someone is close behind on that same dirt road, they get a lot dust on their car. In this instance earth is the second one behind, not close like the car, but star dust don’t have anywhere to settle. It just hangs out there in space waiting for an earth to come by on the dirty road.

Well any way, we get to see the meteors the same time each year. Except if the moon is too bright, then the bright moon takes out all but the brightest of the lot. Guess what happened this year? Yep, too much moon light too little darkness to see very faint of the Perseid Meteors. Yet this year I saw something I’ve never seen before. Saw two meteors in the sky at the same time. I’ve looked at Perseid Meteor Showers for a very long time and not until this year, 2009 have I seen two at the same time. These Perseid Meteor Showers are originating from near the constellation Perseus. That being the same Perseus of Greek Mythology fame. Now Perseus was not the main man in Greek Mythology, but he knew the boss, and like many things in life, it’s not what but who.

Being an certified Godzilla aficionado, highly renown, widely acclaimed, and I do mean long standing, I remember seeing Perry Mason setting inside a hotel, staring out a window overlooking downtown Tokyo, describing the carnage as Godzilla destroyed the city. (which it turned out to be the first of many) Well now, that goes back so far, Perry Mason was still playing Raymond Burr, and had not yet even thought about being Iron Sides.

With my fondness for Godzilla, it be only natural that I also fall in love with Greek Mythology. After all is said and done, Greek Mythology puts Godzilla to shame when it comes to the monster business. If Godzilla is a one man band, and he is, then Greek Mythology is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir of the monster industry.

Now Perseus is a good example of what I’m talking ‘bout. This Perseus fellow was the son of Zeus and Danae. He killed the Gorgon Medusa. Perseus also rescued the princess Andromeda just as she was about to be sacrificed to a sea monster. Now that’s something kinda cool to be remembered by, rescue a princess from the sea monster, then kill a girl with a head full of snakes, and he’s not even a main player. In fact he was just a sub on the “B” team.

It might be worthwhile to say a few words about Gorgon. Tough ladies to say the least, they could turn ya into stone just by looking at ‘em, Euryale, Sthenno and Medusa. The three daughters of Phorcys and Ceto.

These girls were grotesque creatures covered with bulletproof scales, hair of living snakes, hands made of brass, plus sharp fangs and a beard. They lived in the ultimate west, near the ocean, and guarded the entrance to the underworld. These girls didn’t stand out from the crowd in San Francisco, they blended well in that city by the bay, that ultimate west.

Of the three, Medusa was the most famous of the sisters. Not much on looks but she still gets a lot of press from time to time. In fact very few people have even heard of the other two sisters Euryale and Sthenno. But not to worry they were just as ugly, and could do that stone thing too.

I think one sister may have been in Chicago at one time, there are several examples of her stone work there in public parks. The same holds true for Indianapolis. I’m sure she could do the same thing with horses, ‘cause there’s sure as hell a stone horse in Indianapolis along with a stone rider.

All this from a lady who had snakes in place of hair. I’m glad I never looked at her. Don’t think I’d want to, but she must’ve had something worth seeing, else there would not be so many stone men in the world.

That just goes to show ya, some men will look at every women, no matter how ugly, even at the risk of turning to stone. ‘Course maybe they weren’t looking at the snakes, but whatever they were looking at, they would’ve been better off not looking. ‘Cause after all, being turned to stone isn’t something that wears off overnight. When you’re turned to stone, it’s not like ya just get up the next day and go to work. You’re pretty well stuck where the stone dropped.

When talking ‘bout Greek Mythology, ya also talk about Zeus or ya don’t talk at all. That’s the law, the old law of Greek Mythology. Now this ole boy was the God of the sky. The ruler of the Olympian Gods, and Spiritual Father of all Gods and all Mortals.

From eons of time, the last name of Zeus was never divulged until just in recent past when, as part of the 787 billion dollar economic stimulus package from the White House, it was revealed that Zeus’s full name is now and forever has been and, will forever be in the future, Zeus Obama. His birth certificate from Hawaii has been certificated by the proper state authorities, the names of which can’t be revealed due to home land security concerns in Alabama, and maybe some others places as well, but can’t tell ya that information either. Yet ya just have to have faith in any leader named Obama. So there ya go! Republicans eat your heart out. I’m sure some of you are saying “my kingdom for such a leader in the republican ranks”. To that I say keep in mind there is only one Zeus

When I wrote that Zeus Obama part, the 2girl dogs wagged their tails in unison and smiled. Sophia The Republican Cat damn near threw up as she fell backwards off the back of my chair. There are some rare occasions where cats don’t land on their feet when they fall, especially a political cat that has just heard for the first time in any of her nine lives the name Zeus Obama.

Sophia has received two invitations to ask a question at town hall meetings later on this month. One offer asked that she memorize a question which would be sent to her email address only after she swore allegiance to the party. The other, simply offered her a forum to ask a question of her choosing. It will be interesting to see which offer she chooses to accept.

When asked, she just gave me one of those little “Sophia the Cat Smiles” and purred. I love to watch that 1cat smile. There’s something about having cats around, they makes me feel relaxed even with a cat of a different party. (Damn Republican Cat)

Last Friday Sophia The Cat got an email for the White House, honest, Sophia got an email from the White House thru my email, it came to one of my email addresses, the same one which I use to mail this letter, but was addressed to Sophia The Cat. I would just like to know how David Axelrod got hold of my email address, forget the cat, just mine.

That same evening on the South Bend News I heard some reporter asking the White House News Secretary how people were getting emails from the White House when they never asked for anything from there and had never contacted the White House on any matter? How did the White House get their email address? The question was not answered. After some exchange with the reporter, the Press Secretary said “We will move on to more productive areas.”

My question is quite simple, how did Sophia The Republican Cat pop up on the radar at the White House to the extent that she received an email? I think one of those “Blue Cat Democrats” turned her in, that’s the only thing it could be.

The email was asking Sophia to place her support behind the Obama Health Care and take her message of support to the public forum whenever she could.

I’ve not asked her opinion on that email yet, it’s hard to talk to a cat while they still have all their hair puffed up!! I never realized Sophia could look so big. It’s been two days since the email and her hair is just started going down today. A cat scorned. I would not want to be in her gun sites right now. I don’t think I told ya, she’s a member of the NRA, and proud of it. A card carrying member, got the patches and decals, a bumper sticker and even has an autographed picture of the former Executive Director of the NRA, Moses, on display in the cat house.

As the shades of evening draw on, that little brown eyed friend of mine, that humming bird, comes to the feeder one more time for and early evening snack. She just likes that special red sauce, the humming bird stuff I mix up for her. I’m glad I’ve got a humming bird friend. I wish everybody did.

As this beautiful summer day evolved into an equality beautiful summer evening with nighttime to follow, as the rain came by, the pleasure of your company is never ending. Thank you for your visit to the East Wing.

Stay safe in Iraq and Afghanistan

From the East Wing with meteors, monsters, NRA and email
I wish you well,
BobbyRay

From the East Wing with the Monsignor, The Republican Cat and a Plug of Electricity

Greeting to all and welcome to my new friends to the East Wing.

Made a new friend last week, a man 85 years old, and sill working at the same job he started on October 7, 1950. Soon to be 59 years at the same job.

Now anyone who can do the same job for 59 years surely must have something special to bring to the workplace, or the workplace must be something special to bring to you, and that’s just it, the workplace is what drives my new friend, keeps him forever looking forward to the challenges of tomorrow, that keeps him forever gentle in the hearts of those who come in contact with him when he’s on the job, and he’s never off the job.

My Friend is Monsignor Ralph W. Beiting, a Catholic Priest. He has spent the last 59 years in the Mountains of Southeastern Kentucky. Father Ralph is on a 59 year mission to Appalachia.

The history of Kentucky developed thru Appalachia. The winning the Revolutionary War opened the way to the land west of the mountains. The passageway thru the mountains was thru Kentucky.

Everyone’s heard of Daniel Boone and his settlement in Kentucky. Many others well know historical figures used the same trails thru the mountains, those such as George Rogers Clark and James Herod just to name a couple.

Many more lesser know people came west thru those same breaks in the mountains, over there by Jenkins. Names such as Howard, Trusty, Minix, Manns, Walters, Tolson, King, Craft, Smith, Miller, White, Bailey, and the list could fill the rest of the page. But ya get the idea when I say most everybody I know has some connection to Appalachia, if not directly, then ya know someone who does, and in turn some connection to Father Ralph.

I venture to say that during the lifetime Father Ralph has spent in Southeastern Kentucky, he has touched in some way someone you know, or someone you know knows

(I love those kinda sentences, stuff like, I was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me)

This land, Appalachia was once the booming gateway to the west. But foot paths thru the mountains soon gave way to the water trails of the rivers. It was much easier floating down the Ohio River than walking thru the breaks in the mountains into Kentucky. As the nation moved west on the currents of the waters, the pioneers in Appalachia gradually grew isolated from the rest of the country, due in a large part to the difficulty of travel thru the mountains.

Driving thru Appalachia today, traveling from Prestonsburg to Paintsville on a high speed 4 lane highway, it’s hard to imagine this trip taking several hours. It did. I made it with my parents more than once, many times. Traveling in cars without automatic transmissions, ya seldom got into high gear, too many curves, just when it’s time to shift to high, ya gotta slow down, downshift for the upcoming curve. Then do it all over again mile after mile after mile. Ya didn’t go fast back then.

The single most enjoyable stretch of Interstate Highway for me to drive is a section from Winchester KY to Salyersville KY. It’s called the Mountain Park Way, about 75 miles or so, but to me, a child of the mountains, its special, so very special. Ya drive from the rolling hills of Winchester Blue Grass into the mountains of Southeastern Kentucky. I’ve made that drive a lot and have never lost the excitement each time I see the distant mountains for the first time that day. The time for this trip today is less than 90 minutes. When I was a kid, in bad weather, ya started early in the day and ate lunch, and supper on the road when ya went from Salyersville to Winchester.

Father Ralph fell in love with the mountains, with its people, and their needs that autumn day 1950. Today we can only imagine the difficulties he faced. Talk about walking into the lion’s den, well there were no lions in Appalachia but there were tigers and bears, oh my. The bears were real bears, the tigers were real people, mean people, skeptical people, good people, frightened people, people without hope. Father Ralph won the hearts of ‘em all.

Now ya just can’t stay on the job for 59 years if you’re not doing something right. Even in this church business, ya gotta perform. Father Ralph has received dozens of rewards and recognitions from all over the country, universities, national charities, civic and religious groups, so I guess somebody thinks he is carrying the message. More importantly, those he serves know.

Father Ralph takes the message to the outside world. Father Ralph is a street preacher, anywhere and everywhere he can draw an audience. He has preached on the banks of the Ohio River. He has preached on banks of the Kentucky River. Father Ralph has taken the message of God’s love for mankind all over the Southeastern Kentucky. Father Ralph has “Told it On The Mountains” I am glad he came to speak at my Catholic Church, Saints Cyril and Methodius, in North Judson IN. He made a friend that day, me.

The impact this priest has made on the lives of people he comes in contact with is best illustrated by sharing a story from his book about one such outdoor service.

It happened to be in Leslie County that Father Ralph was setting up his microphones and loudspeakers. Seeing a fellow setting on the front porch in a swing, Father Ralph walked up said he was going to put on a program of preaching and singing . It was to praise God and his son, Jesus Christ, could he use electricity to power the loudspeakers.

The man on the porch said ok. Father Ralph went for the extension cord, upon his return with the cord the man ask what religion did he belong. Father Ralph told him he was a Catholic Priest. The Man said “Well, you’ll get no electricity here. I want nothing to do with that false religion”.

At this point a person of lesser convection may have walked away, Father Ralph did not. “Sir, if I asked you for a cup of water in Jesus’ name, would you give it to me?” asked Father Ralph.

The man said “Well, yes I would cause the Bible tells me to do that”. Father Ralph said “Well, I’m asking for the same thing, a plug full of electricity in his name”.

The man scratched his head and said “I don’t see how the two are the same, but I’m afraid to take a chance, Go ahead but you pull off one Catholic thing out there and out comes your pug”.

So it was in the presence of doubt, Father Ralph preached the gospel. He talked about the Lord’s great love for us and how he asked us to love one another. Preaching and singing for 45 minutes.

Father Ralph when to retrieve his cord and thank the man for the use of the electricity he found him with tears running down his face. “Do you know who I am?” the man asked.

“A kind old man” replied Father Ralph.

“I’m a Baptist Preacher, he said “and I almost prevented the word of God from ringing from these hills, filling the valleys. You spoke so beautifully of him, can you ever forgive me?”

“Of course” replied Father Ralph.

“I want a promise from you. When you come this county again, will you preach from my front yard?”

Father Ralph did not get back to Leslie County for a couple of years. When he did, he walked up the path to the porch. This time his wife was seated in the rocking chair. “I reckon you’re looking for my man” she said. “He went off and left me. We buried him on the hill behind the house. You may want to know what went on just before he died. He told me when the Catholic man comes back, you be sure to give him electricity.”

Having been exposed to the religions of the mountains at a young age, I for one, can appreciate the difficulties Father Ralph had to deal with.

A few weeks ago I talked about Tommy Tucker being a black friend of mine when I lived at Weeksbury KY. Someday I may write about another friend in Weeksbury, Tommy Silkurk, a little Catholic boy that lived next door.

Father Ralph has the same passion for his work today as when he started, maybe, just maybe, even more so today. There will come a time in the future that God will say to Father Ralph, “Well done my faithful servant, go rest high on the mountain”

Until that time, Father Ralph will continue to preach the gospel, he will continue to serve the people of Appalachia in any way he can, and whenever necessary to carry out the mission, he will not hesitate to ask for a plug full of electricity.

It’s my intension to assist Father Ralph in his work in Appalachia, the world is filled with people in need, we can’t help ‘em all, so it is only right to touch those at arm’s length first. I invite you to come along.

The girl dogs are enjoying the air conditioning of the East Wing as usual, while Sophia The Republican Cat is still gloating over the amount of email she received from her last tirade when she jumped on the Blue Cat Democrats. (Damn Republican Cat)

I’m amazed how much email that cat did get. Some of which she shared with me. The more sensitive stuff she said I would have to get a security clearance from the former President Bush’s people in order to see the emails.

I trying to negotiate an agreement with Sophia to allow me to publish some of her emails. We’re still working out the details, but she has agreed to one just as an example.

Sophia, I loved what you had to say about Obama! You Go Cat! You tell that *&^*&%$$ the way it is ! How come BobbyRay keeps calling you Damn Republican Cat? BITE HIM WHEN HE SLEEPS!

The true heat of summer has finally come, this ninth August day of the year. If ya love the summer heat, and I do, that’s what I’m talking ‘bout!

Nothing is more pleasant than fine company on such a warm summer evening. Thank you for visiting the East Wing this August Sunday.

Stay safe in Baghdad and Afghanistan.

From the East Wing when Monsignor Ralph W. Beiting came to visit

I wish you well,
BobbyRay

Sophia The Cat, Lammas Day and Rosh Hashanah

Greeting to all and welcome new friends to the East Wing.

There was a near war in the East Wing this past week, somehow Gray Lady James acquired a copy of an email which Sophia The Republican Cat sent to some of her distant relatives around the country.

Don’t know how the Gray Lady got the email, she just did. Maybe from the neighbor cat, maybe from the mailman, maybe from the stork, I don’t know. The point is The Lady had the letter and demanded to know why this Cat Of A Different Color would send out such garbage.

Cat and the dog were close to blows when I choose to step into the fray. Stepping in between warring cats and dogs takes a certain amount of courage if ya know what I mean.

With the Gray Lady on one side barking her head off and the Calico Cat on the other side with that special look in her eyes, I knew I had a hand full to keep peace in the East Wing. Holding each at arm’s length and yelling “shut up and listen ! Only one talk at a time and I mean it!” got their attention.

Sophia spoke first, she said “ I have a proposition to make, I will only ask one question, If my question cannot be answered, my email will be included with the next Ramblings From the East Wing, If my single question can be answered, then I will become a card carrying democrat”.

Well, the Gray Lady damn near went through the roof. “Why you @#$#%$#@ cat! What is your stupid question Sophia? The cat just smiled and said “Deal or No Deal?” At that point, trying to keep peace in the East Wing, I said “deal”.

One thing about the Calico Cat, she’s not afraid to get in your face when it comes to politics. But this time she just gave the Gray Lady one of those “Sophia The Cat Smiles” and said “which one of the statements that I made is incorrect?

It’s easy to tell when the bird dog doesn’t catch the bird. Gray Lady James, a text book picture of the German Short Hair Pointer. But that day she missed the bird. And I am obligated to send you the cat’s email.

SOPHIA WROTE:
This is not easy for me to concede but I have to own up to the fact that you Blue Cat Democrats were right.

You told me if I voted for McCain, the nation's Hope would decline, and sure enough there has been a 20 point drop in the Consumer Confidence Index since the election, reaching a lower point than any time during the Bush administration.

You told me if I voted for McCain, the US would become more deeply entangled in the Middle East, and sure enough, tens of thousands of additional troops are scheduled to be deployed into Afghanistan.

You told me if I voted for McCain, that the economy would get worse, and sure enough unemployment is damn near 10.0% while the new stimulus packages recently sent the stock market lower than at any time since 9-11.

You told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more "crooks" in high ranking positions in Federal government and sure enough, several recent cabinet nominees and Senate appointments revealed resumes of scandal, bribery and tax fraud.

You told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more "Pork at the trough" in Federal government and, sure enough, 17,500 "Pork Bills" showed up in Congress in just three weeks after you democrats took control of Congress.

You told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more deficit spending in D.C. and sure enough, Obama spent more in just 30 days than all other Presidents together in the history of the nation. A 3.8 trillion dollar budget, with a 900 million dollar per day interest on this current debt.

Well, I ignored you Blue Cat Democrats last November and voted for McCain. … And you were right. All of your predictions have come true. This must be the change you kept telling me about last year, right?

And I never saw it coming. Are you guys smart or what !?!

Well that will be the last time I’ll agree with Sophia before first thinking it through to all possible conclusions. But I will say for the rest of the week, Sophia walked around with a special swagger in her step. It kinda reminds me of President Obama, somewhere between jive and acting stupidly.

I’m not sure if he is on her email list or not. I bet not. She’s still mad about the President picking a dog and not a cat for the official White House Pet.

In case ya missed it Lammas Day was yesterday August 1st . Lammas Day marks the beginning of the harvest. In old England, loaves of bread were baked from the first-ripened grain, wheat or barley, consecrated in churches, and eaten.

From the Old English hlaf, “loaf,” and maesse, “mass” or “feast,” Lammas is very old indeed. Lammas originate from the ancient English festival called the Gule of August, which marked the beginning of the harvest, traditionally August 1st . The early English church kept this pagan dedication of the first fruit but converted it to Christian usage. over the centuries, “loaf-mass” became corrupted in spelling and pronunciation to Lammas.

It’s kinda interesting to note how many special day such as “Lammas Day” have roots in pagan history. I think even that Easter Bunny was part of one of those deals where someone in early Christianity just couldn’t let the Easter Bunny slip away with the pagans, he probably just liked chocolate rabbits or maybe colored eggs.

There is another interesting thing that after Lammas Day, corn ripens as much by night as it does by day. So if ya ever wanted to try that “hearing the corn grow at night” now is the time to start listening.

Have you noticed that on certain days, we celebrate events by eating customary foods? Some are so well know, that even if ya don’t like it ya tend to eat some just because. Like corn beef and cabbage with that green beer. YUK ! The 1wife makes it every year.

But there are many other not so well know such as January 6th : On Epiphany, people eat a cake with a lucky bean baked in it. Whoever finds the bean is the king of the feast, in memory of the three kings who traveled to find baby Jesus on this day.

June 21st : In Sweden, people celebrate the Summer Solstice by eating the first strawberries of the season.

September or October : During the Jewish observation of Rosh Hashanah, honey and foods colored orange or yellow are eaten to symbolize a bright and sweet new year.

I don’t remember for sure why that Rosh Hashanah thing is not on the same day each year, but I think it’s kinda like Easter, it has to do with the moon and seasons and stuff like that. It’s the Jewish New Year Festival and those folks eat honey and yellow and orange colored food on that special day.

I don’t know that many yellow and orange colored foods, good think I’m a hillbilly and not a Jew, else I’d be in big trouble come Rosh Hashanah.

I wonder if they had a really big parade and a football game every year on the same day, if they could get that Rosh Hashanah Festival to settle on the same day.

After all, ya can’t just go building those floats any time, ya gotta know well in advance an plan these things out. Just getting the flowers together for the floats is a big deal. Plus all the work to get all those marchers, it’s hard to get good marchers now days, everybody’s too lazy to march.

I suppose they could get the President to give ‘um marchers, he gives everything else, now even helps ya buy new cars. I wonder if hamburgers are next?

I don’t even know who is going to put the football game together, It may end up the Pharaohs Army and the Hebrew Slaves.

That being the case, I’m betting on the Slaves, I think they won the first time these two met rather convincingly. Seems I remember, Pharaohs Army got drowned about midway through the first quarter. And from that point on the Children of Israel never looked back. Yah, I expect it to be 2 and 0 at the end of the game. I’m definitely betting on the Slaves.

I love August, it’s always hot and steamy, but be sure to take the time to note on which day in August the first heavy fog occurs, and expect a hard frost on the same day in October. I don’t know why this happens but I’ve watched this one a lot and most every year it works, year after year.

I better clarify my position here on this frost thing, I’m talking ‘bout if ya live in a place that has summers and winters. I’m not saying it’s gona frost in Palm Beach or Key West, or Cape Town for that matter. ( I do appreciate your invention last week to visit Cape Town, but I don’t fly well, in fact I no longer fly at all, so I will come and visit just as soon as the bridge is finished) I bet it will frost just outside the East Wing in October, will let ya know.

I love air conditioning more than hot. My office is cold by some peoples standard but I have to, ‘cause my two office cats wear full coats. I’ll have to tell ya about the office cats some day, Miss Kitty and Little Brother, both black and white. Miss Kitty has opposing thumbs, yes opposing thumbs, four of ‘um. She can grasp objects. Like Sophia, Miss Kitty has also learned to read. Unlike Sophia, Miss Kitty is learning to write. Opposing thumb and all, no reason not to. She can already write CAT and is working on the DOG.
Summer Sunday visiting in the East Wing,,, ah, what a way to while away this beautiful evening. Your presence has made our day, we thank you for coming.

What a most beautiful summer day, this August 2, 2009. Thank you Lord.

Stay safe in Baghdad and Afghanistan

From the East Wing, with Sophia doing her politic thing, Lammas Day, and Rosh Hashanah
I wish you well,
BobbyRay